Grrlfriend (grrlfriend) wrote,

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Pleasant Surprise

Met a very dear lady tonight. I feel certain that I have a new friend. The kind you can talk to every day, or not see for a year, and feel the same comfort level with. I love that! I don't forsee an actual romantic or sexual thing happening, but fortunately she seems very accepting of that. I got a bit nervous on and off throughout the evening when I felt the vibe getting toward that, but we discussed it and it was okay. I guess I might need a bit more of a line there to keep me from getting nervous in the future, and make me feel safe to connect more deeply with her. And believe me, there's no end to her soul's depth.

It's actually all got me thinking... maybe when it comes down to it, I won't be capable of a fling. I don't tend to like superficial people, and the kinds of folks I meet who totally separate sex from emotions sort of twist my gut. That's a turn off. But with the beautiful souls I am drawn to, the reality that this is a human being with real emotions and a genuine heart comes up and I just don't want to f*ck with that. It's too precious to me. So I connect enough to be comfortable with the idea of being intimate in theory, but then I don't have the ability to detach enough to do it.. This has happened to me a lot. Apparently fantasies are most convenient. Who knows.

Thank you for being incredible.
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